Monday, July 03, 2006

Insurrection Insomnia (A Look at Home Owner's Insurance)

If you read my 1st post, you know that I am a new home owner. You may not know that I read everything. I read all bazillion pages for the closing of the house (which I requested to have 2 days in advance, I did find a few errors!). I also have read my home owner's policy from a major company that will remain nameless. However I couldn't help but laugh hysterically at the policy, hence the Insurrection insomnia.

The obvious is true, my house (known in the "biz" as a Dwelling) is covered from loss in the event of fire etc. Of course we need to clarify that "my house" refers to my dwelling including attached structures, the construction materials thereof, and wall to wall carpeting fastened to the dwelling. Fine.

But reading further, it states that I am NOT covered for floods, including but not limited to surface water, waves, tidal water or overflow, or spray whether or not driven by wind. Sounds scary but I think I knew that flood insurance was separate, which is a major issue in New Orleans right now.

However, I am also NOT covered for earth movement of any type, including but not limited to earthquake, volcanic eruption, lava flow, landslide, subsidence, mudflow, pressure, sinkhole, erosion, and aliens (I threw that in to see if you were still paying attention). Sounds like a remote possibility, however we can easily see how this house that I can not afford to buy outright and had to borrow money to pay back for 30 years could disappear by some earth movement and I would be out the entire sum. Bankruptcy. That would be tragic.

However, the good news is that I AM covered for damage caused by fire, explosion, theft or breakage of glass or safety glazing materials resulting from said earth movement above. So the best case scenario for earth movement would be for the volcano to erupt just up the street from me and have the lava flow miss my house, but cause the trees to burn and therefore I would be covered.

As if that wasn't enough to worry about as a new home owner, I am also NOT covered for nuclear action, radiation or radioactive contamination. I am (of course) covered by fire resulting from said nuclear action, assuming I am still alive (and glowing) to collect.

And finally I am NOT covered for war or warlike acts, including but not limited to insurrection, rebellion or revolution. Hence the insurrection insomnia as I will add to my list of prayers each night that a war doesn't break out in my neighborhood, or at least if it does, only the fires that were started during the war meet my unoccupied house.

Are you in good hands?


Laura Sturgis said...

Your smart cousin in Boston is not saying quite as many prayers in the evenings thanks to renting. Instead I stay awake at night not praying that a natural disaster won't occur but instead crying about how much money I am throwing away in rent every month. The good news is that the property management company I work for is getting rich off me and the stock price is going up daily allowing me to get back a very small chunk of the check I write them every month. The even better news is that I actually have time like this to read all of these blogs because I am not staining my deck, mowing the grass, cutting the trees etc. Plus, whenever I get anything stuck in my garbage disposal help is only a short phone call away. The bad news is if the building burns down my stuff will be covered but I will just be out of a home. This is the reason I am glad my cousins have purchased homes and I will have a place to bunk up for a while if need be. Especially the one in Shrewsbury.

Dale said...

Wow, apparently writing verbose blogs ripping on stuff is in the Sturgis family. :)

Karen said...

you are quite funny. :) i'll cross my fingers about the alien part on your behalf.

Ivette said...

"Glowing" reviews for Insurrection Insomnia!